is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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