i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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