you mean i was at the winter classic?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
then he tried to convert me to islam
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
