Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
