I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
