Plan B is the new Plan A
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
