Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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