if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
