College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I don't think brook has ever known best
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
