is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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