it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
