Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
