We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
