Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
