I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
