I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
