no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
