is your mom at the bar?
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
