Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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