I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
