Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
