I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
