And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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