Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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