Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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