brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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