So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Randomize