Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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