I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
