you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I had to cum in my sink.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
