your thong is hanging out like whoa
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
