dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
