Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
