Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
