3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
