ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
its liver damage thursday
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
