I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
