I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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