Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
