the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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