The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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