Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
