I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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