We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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