i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
