Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize