Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
