I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
