is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
