I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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