somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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