one might say we're banned from that church
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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