We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think your dad took our porno
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
