i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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