I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
