when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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