You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
