i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
