wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
