My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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