Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
