All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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