everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
time to smoke my breakfast
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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