i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
