there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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