I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
