How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
