Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
