shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
