Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
