so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you didnt know i had herpes?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This is the high leading the old right now
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
