Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
