Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
